What now?

So I've been writing another novel. Somehow this feels more painful than the last time I wrote a book. 

Why?

Because I had no expectations then. Now I feel like I should be so much better because I've actually won writing awards since then. I've gone through self-publishing since then. 

Now I'm second guessing practically everything. I want to write about what I'm writing about. It's complex and has a bit of history interwoven in it, quite different from what I did before. Will it alienate the 5 fans I've gained? Yes...literally five. So you can imagine I don't want to lose them, especially because it took my blood, sweat and tears to get them. 

So what do I do? I stop writing of course. Which isn't very bright. 

And it made me evaluate other writers that have put out multiple books. And I've realized something. I feel like the books that really resonate with the public are the ones that are pure and represent the author at their most basic level. The ones that are honest and reflect people that the authors actually know. So with this in mind, I plan to resume writing again soon. After all, none of my fans are fans because of my intentions. Only because of work I've actually done.