Sunday, December 8, 2013

Retro retrospective.

I'm really loving the fact that fashion and music from previous eras are being reinvented and lovingly embraced. 

I'm a huge fan of earlier eras. So much so that I feel like I've become a retro junkie. I've filled my life with updated versions of the past. 

Robin Thicke had a monster summer with "Blurred Lines"; that jam was my ring tone for two months. I'm also a serious fan of Lana del Rey and her musical nod to the 50s and 60s. 
Let's not talk about the two pairs of 60s inspired sunglasses I've been rocking since September. 
Or the awesome shift dress that has become a wardrobe staple. 

So it leads me to wonder: why aren't we taking more inspiration from these decades?

We wear our cool clothes and never once give serious thought to the other elements that dominated those decades. 

And even when they do, it seems they are just paying lip service to certain ideologies. Suddenly we're hearing people jump on this feminism band wagon to defend their persistent nudity. Wasn't the feminist movement defined by a mental revolution instead of a visual one?

Seriously, if women want to be considered as equal why do they constantly strip down? We don't see men doing that to make statements nearly as often as women do. 

There are so many other ways to make poignant contributions to social discussion without flashing a boob (I'm looking at you, music stars). 

Art is a major influencer of inciting sweeping social change. Why can't we send messages through our books, sculptures and movies that encourage more tolerance and better morals?

Why are we allowing a select few to mindlessly lead us? There used to be a time when the great thinkers and visionaries among us were hoisted on the shoulders of the people. Now we favour those who brandish their sexualities at us like smelly socks, rubbing our faces in it at every turn. 

I really wish that every one who has a major platform to stand on would push for something other than bumping and grinding nude in public. 

As much as we are evolving I feel that behaviour is reminiscent of Neanderthals at a cave party. 
I can't help but to agree with Dr. Seuss when he rightly stated: 'They say I'm old-fashioned, and live in the past, but sometimes I think progress progresses too fast!'

Friday, November 15, 2013

The write time

I'll be honest. I haven't written a single word for my new book. (Technically in this case I don't even have a book - just an outline). So basically I just have unexpressed thoughts rolling around in my head that no-one else knows about but me. 

A private book. 

How wonderful. 

The only thing I've written since releasing The Shadow Guardian is this blog. And lots of letters seeking publishers and agents. But I digress. 

The reason I haven't written is because of life. A seemingly vague reason but a valid one all the same. Instead of writing I've been living. 

In an effort not to be a starving artist I've worked. And I've paid bills. Did laundry. Cooked and snuck away from work to go  swimming one afternoon. 

All of these mundane tasks have been keeping me from my new passion. Writing is suddenly becoming a hobby for me and I think the self-deprecating comments I make on this blog are perhaps the only thing keeping me from feeling like I'll never write again. 

I thought back today and tried to figure out when I used to find time to write before. Then I remembered that I had given up sleep and all forms of any kind of social life to work on my book. Suddenly I yearn for those 2AM sessions when I lost myself in my characters and my plot. 

And it makes me beg the question: how do other writers find the time to write? We all have made huge sacrifices to get the point where we have been able to publish a book. I'd love to know just how everyone else manages to make time to pursue this noble undertaking we call writing when they have laundry, family and jobs. 

So sound off and tell me just how you guys are able to make it work. 

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Free Download of my book today and tomorrow ONLY!

Check out The Shadow Guardian for FREE today and tomorrow only!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00ERACGDS?ie=UTF8&force-full-site=1&ref_=aw_bottom_links

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Why am I such a glutton for punishment?

Every now and I again I get some bright ideas. 

There was the time when I wanted to grow my own organic vegetables. I got sunburned, created a Mecca for all kinds of veggie devouring bugs and ended up wih a grand total of 5 cherry tomatoes, half of a head of lettuce and a very sad looking carrot that only a head strong gardener could love. 

Let's not talk about the time I made my own soap from scratch. Against opposition from every one else in my life I surged ahead, confident that I could eschew conventional cleansing tools. How did it turn out? Not so good; now I buy Dove in bulk.

If you've read The Shadow Guardian, it will become pretty clear who's the inspiration for Tillie's character. 

It's not that I can't commit to anything. It's just that I have all of these grand plans that tend not to pan out sometimes. 

And it's for precisely this reason that I know that deep down that I love writing. No matter what pitfalls I've met since I started, I remain steadfast in my efforts to grow. I could get really dramatic and pledge that by the sweat of my brow that I'll become a best-selling author, but I hardly think that's my focus. 

I just want to write good books that connect with people. I just want to talk about my culture and throw in some details about my life for colour to make it exciting. 

There is something that I've learned in all of my little adventures: if it feels right then it probably is. 


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The legend of the duppy

So many people have asked me about the legend of the duppy in my book that I felt I just had to do a special blog post on it. 

The legend originates in Africa and lives on in the West Indies through the descendants of the slaves who were brought here hundreds of years ago. Some of the islands have different names for duppies such as rolling calf and bubby Susan. But in pretty much all of the Caribbean islands, certain facts remain consistent. 

Duppies are believed to come about through the improper burial of bodies. Once they escape, they roam the earth for three days and can get into myriad activities including haunting one's enemies. They're rumored to live in cotton trees and to enjoy a good drink (talk about an eclectic spirit!) 

Many of you may ask "what's the difference between a duppy and a ghost?"  The main difference is that duppies are said to communicate with us while we sleep by manipulating our dreams. In Barbados when that happens, people say that they're being ridden by a duppy. When that happens, you wake up but your body gets stiff and you are rendered immobile. From there it's you against the duppy and you have to shake them off. 

But that creepy stuff isn't entirely what the book is about. In my book the duppy is actually a good guy... of sorts. 

Duppies are mythical spirits that many believe can either be good or bad. In my book, The Shadow Guardian, they represent both but with a twist. I took the idea of the duppy and fictionalized how it appeared in the book (many people were surprised by it and I won't go into that part too much here to avoid killing it for those of you who haven't read it). 

I did it that way because I was fascinated with the premise that they represent one of our souls. The legend of the duppy believes that the soul leaves a deceased person's body for a reason and I again took creative license with that aspect of the legend. Why?

Because I felt like so many of us go about our day without any real burning desire. I know for sure that at one point I did. That's what actually inspired me to write the book - living without joy and love and excitement is a horrible existence. 

So I breathed new life into the duppy by giving it a fresh purpose. The duppy was critical in the book to connect lots of themes such as hope and love. So often, we peg our dreams and ideal lifestyles on outside influences and material things. But let's be real; when you strip away all of that you come to grips with the fact that all we really need is what we can give ourselves. And once WE - not others - are happy and exude confidence and a genuine spirit, everything else falls into place. I don't advocate being selfish and forgetting other people. Far from. I'm just saying that we get what we give and if we give love and good vibes, then it comes back to us. 

I've gotten a few e-mails and messages from people telling me that The Shadow Guardian gave them what they needed to get through a difficult time. I am genuinely glad that I was able to help in my little way. We face so many challenges everyday - from work to our love lives - that it's important to be able to get past all of the bad, dig deep and find the hope that lies within all of us. 

I found mine and I hope you find your's. 

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Bob Marley... and a little reflection

I came across this quote just now by Bob Marley and I think it's so poignant that I just wanted to share it with you. It's long but it's well worth the time to read it. Hopefully it gives you the chance to reflect and not squander the wonderful opportunities that true love presents us with.


“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” 
― Bob Marley

Friday, October 4, 2013

Rihanna?

You know how some sites ask you which stars you would cast if your book was ever made into a movie?

I always dismissed it, because let's face it: there's a reason why those books make the news. Because it's rare for any book to sell its movie rights, thus making it news worthy. 

But as I prepare to do some fresh writing on another book, I had an epiphany. I can't imagine who I'd cast as the major characters but I suddenly saw Rihanna dressed as the fortune teller and playing the role exactly the way I'd want it reenacted. 

It's weird how it happened. In my mind's eye I suddenly saw the scene where Lady Oya shoves open the door and there stood Rihanna. 

Tell me what you think. Can you picture Rihanna as the fortune teller?

Thursday, September 26, 2013

The free fall.

I have a friend who skydives. It's part of his job so he doesn't do it as a hobby. As a matter of fact, it's the part of his job that he dislikes the most. 

He loathes the feeling of getting into the plane, knowing that soon he will be hurling himself from it. 

There's nothing he hates more than the wind savagely whipping at his face as he stands by the door, staring down at the earth. 

And he resents taking the final plunge, watching it all coming closer and closer at a frenetic pace. So, what does he do to counter all of this? He does what he can to negate the risks by packing his own parachute. 

But here comes the problem: he packs and re-packs and re-packs it again and again, his stomach getting more and more queasy with every round of re-packing, until he's ready to board the plane. 

Why?

Because packing a parachute properly is critical to it actually opening and performing the way it should. Heaven forbid that it doesn't open when the ripcord is pulled. Can you blame the poor fellow for driving himself insane every time he unpacks the darned thing?

What does this have to do with anything? If you think about it, parachuting is just like writing. I do what I can behind the scenes, tooling and re-tooling my work, feeding self-doubt at every turn. I second guess everything: names, places, situations. The last thing I want is to present work that feels insincere or contrived. 
So I do like Coco Chanel says and I remove one thing... and then one more thing from my book before publishing it. 

And it turns out, that one thing I've removed, is the thing that so many people tell me they wish was in the book!

Sigh. 

So, what do I do? I'll rewrite and reinsert the segment I removed and I'll learn to ignore Coco whispering in my ear. Because, going with your gut and having confidence in your work is the most amazing feeling there is. Free-falling into the world of self-publishing is liberating. It has validated me in a way I didn't know was possible. All of these emails and messages from readers admonishing me when I admit that I purposely took out some segments is so inspiring to me. 

I wake up each day with renewed purpose, knowing that I can be a good writer once I trust in myself. I can't thank each of you enough for having the guts to call me out on some of my decisions. 

So I'll take this chance to give some great advice to all of my fellow indie writers. 

“Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.” 
― Coco Chanel

Hey... Coco can't be wrong all of the time. 




The free fall

I have a friend who skydives. It's part of his job so he doesn't do it as a hobby. As a matter of fact, it's the part of his job that he dislikes the most. 

He loathes the feeling of getting into the plane, knowing that soon he will be hurling himself from it. 

There's nothing he hates more than the wind savagely whipping at his face as he stands by the door, staring down at the earth. 

And he resents taking the final plunge, watching it all coming closer and closer at a frenetic pace. So, what does he do to counter all of this? He does what he can to negate the risks by packing his own parachute. 

But here comes the problem: he packs and re-packs and re-packs it again and again, his stomach getting more and more queasy with every round of re-packing, until he's ready to board the plane. 

Why?

Because packing a parachute properly is critical to it actually opening and performing the way it should. Heaven forbid that it doesn't open when the ripcord is pulled. Can you blame the poor fellow for driving himself insane every time he unpacks the darned thing?

What does this have to do with anything? If you think about it, parachuting is just like writing. I do what I can behind the scenes, tooling and re-tooling my work, feeding self-doubt at every turn. I second guess everything: names, places, situations. The last thing I want is to present work that feels insincere or contrived. 
So I do like Coco Chanel says and I remove one thing... and then one more thing from my book before publishing it. 

And it turns out, that one thing I've removed, is the thing that so many people tell me they wish was in the book!

Sigh. 

So, what do I do? I'll rewrite and reinsert the segment I removed and I'll learn to ignore Coco whispering in my ear. Because, going with your gut and having confidence in your work is the most amazing feeling there is. Free-falling into the world of self-publishing is liberating. It has validated me in a way I didn't know was possible. All of these emails and messages from readers admonishing me when I admit that I purposely took out some segments is so inspiring to me. 

I wake up each day with renewed purpose, knowing that I can be a good writer once I trust in myself. I can't thank each of you enough for having the guts to call me out on some of my decisions. 

So I'll take this chance to give some great advice to all of my fellow indie writers. 

“Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.” 
― Coco Chanel

Hey... Coco can't be wrong all of the time. 




Monday, September 23, 2013

Inertia sets in.



Sooo. Last week I wrote my first goodreads blog. It was cool. I got a couple of likes, fans and followers. I even got it posted on Pumped Up Your Book. http://www.pumpupyourbook.com/2013/09/20/guest-blogger-callie-browning/

I was all fussy with myself. (In Barbados when we say "fussy" we mean super excited - expect to see that word a lot from me). 

And then a bell went off in my head. I thought to myself "these people are only following and liking you because they liked what you said. Do you have something else to say?"

Inertia set in. Because I didn't really expect anyone to think of my rant as follow worthy. What now, smarty pants? So I sat down and thought about today's post long and hard. Well not very long. After I finished my orange juice I started writing. 

I realized that this following and liking had occurred when I came clean and decided to just speak my truth. How does this relate to being an author?
Simple, I say. That's what we're supposed to do as authors. The parts of my book that I'm getting kudos on are the parts that I was really feeling as I wrote. Those are the parts that touch people and make them feel something vividly. 

This revelation was a huge turning point for me. Why try to be something that I'm not when what I am is so much more powerful? 

Let's face it. If you know you're not particularly adept at writing fiction but you're writing it because you think it will sell well you're doing yourself an injustice. People can read between the lines. Both literally and figuratively. 

When we are most honest with ourselves is when we shine. I suggest that each of us find what we're passionate about and really dig into it. Because that's how we will make ourselves worthy of adulation from all of the fans we'd love to have. How many times have you watched a movie and thought that it felt forced? What about the times you've seen art that just looks like a bunch of paint strokes on a canvas and scoffed in disdain? 

Don't forget that writing is just another artistic expression. Search for what you can properly express. You might be surprised to realize that what you're really good at writing is short stories or screen plays. Writers block is normal but when inertia sets in that's when you know you're fighting against the tide. 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Your truth or mine?

I've experienced lots of things in my life. Every challenge you face as a person only helps you to grow. Adolescence, heartbreak and making major life decisions add something intrinsic to your personal DNA that alternately improves and ruins who you are as a person.

We could discuss things are diverse as childbirth and divorce, but no... I'm talking about something far more fearful and mind-numbing: being a writer.

At every juncture of writing my book, I was faced with what I initially assumed were insurmountable challenges. I agonized over developing my characters and worried about some aspects of my book seeming too cliched. I worried that I wouldn't have enough money to package it properly.

Then, when I thought I had passed the worst, I got an eye opener. The self-published book business is MAJOR. It's bigger than I even imagined. People bandied about numbers in the range of 80,000 new releases being published a month!

How on earth could I break through all of that clutter with my limited budget? How could I make enough noise to be heard over the din of all the James Pattersons and Dan Browns of this world?

But, lemme tell ya... it turns out that those things were the least of my worries.

Eventually, I put those issues behind me and figured I was ready to move forward. I thought I had gotten to a point where I could just put up my feet and let the book do its own work. 

Written and edited? Check
Decent looking cover art? Check
Publicized to family, friends and unassuming strangers? Check, Check, Check

But wait! There's more. It turns out that I wasn't ready for the emotional turnstile that is public scrutiny.

"I love it!" "I hate it!" "More sex!" "More duppy!" "I'm allergic to duppies!"

It ain't easy to tolerate being boosted up and then deflated so quickly. It made me realize that this is what celebrities deal with everyday. And makes me commend the ones that go to rehab because it would be much easier to keep trying to dull your pain. 

I kid you. I'm certainly not a proponent of drugs.(Drugs are bad)

So...what does any self-respecting aspiring author do? 

Not cry. Just because I'm creative doesn't mean I'm overly emotional. 

Major introspection. And I've realized that writing is an art. All art is subject to scrutiny and the fact that people love or hate your work could easily mean that you have done enough to elicit strong feelings about your work.
I wrote and released my book because I felt I had something different to say. Something that strongly reflected my culture and my people in a way that hadn't been done before. I'm not trying to be a pioneer but I'll admit that I want people (droves of them if I had my way) to hear what I have to say. 
There are all kinds of people in this world and it's unlikely that each of us can have the same opinion. That's why there are words like "consensus" to give us an overarching feeling of what public opinion really is.


We all have our own version of the truth and I think as long as each of us tells it in a way that we're satisfied with, that should be enough. I would encourage each and every writer out there to find their truth, get some broad shoulders and shout it from the rooftops if they can.
As a friend of mine says all the time, "Do you want the truth or a fancy story?" Any good writer would reply, "I've always been partial to fancy stories." :)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00ERACGDS

Monday, September 16, 2013

Excerpt from The Shadow Guardian

CHAPTER 2


I was in the middle of a gully. There were tall, thin, densely clustered trees as far as the eye could see, many of them with sparsely covered canopies. Some of the tree trunks were covered with dark green moss that snaked its way up over the trees’ bark. Others had gnarled, intertwined roots that grew vertically above the ground; as though the earth around the roots had been scraped away.

It was a very sunny day, judging by the dappled sunlight that filtered through the leaves and danced on the gully floor, but the tree cover took away the heat, leaving the gully cool and balmy. Brown leaves and twigs littered the gully floor and merged with the dark soil, creating the look of a mottled brown carpet. It should have been a very tranquil environment. Yet I felt a prickling uneasiness; why was I here….alone?

I stood still, trying to get my bearings. At first all I could hear was the rustle of leaves as a light breeze moved through the trees and bushes. That’s when I heard it: a group of murmuring voices. My heart jumped. Those people should be able to help me.

I started to run toward the voices. My sandal-clad feet barely made any noise on the soft, decomposing gully floor, despite how quickly I was running. My heart pounded in my ears; there was no way for me to tell which way I had come or how I could get out of the gully. I stopped running, my breath coming in harsh, unsteady gasps.

I was so afraid that I had long ago lost the urge to cry. The trees seemed denser here, yet I had just passed the cluster of rocks which I recognized as being close to my starting point. I was no closer to finding a way out of the gully. I changed course and ran back the way I came.

No matter which way I ran the disembodied voices seemed to follow me. I stopped again and listened carefully. This time, I realized that not only was the murmuring growing louder, but I also recognized the voices.

I slowed down and tried to breathe evenly. By now, I should have been able to see Tillie and my mother and all of the other people whose voices I recognized. I was paranoid; there were no voices, no people. There was nothing in the gully other than green monkeys and they wouldn’t bother me unless I bothered their babies. Being deep in the gully was like being trapped inside a leafy green crypt. Frustrated I threw up my hands and gave up. Without warning, I fell to the ground. Try as I might to move, I couldn’t.

I shuddered inwardly, unable to grasp what was happening to me. I was unexpectedly, unexplainably paralyzed in the gully. I tried moving again, every muscle in my body straining to elicit some kind of movement out my limbs. I struggled against the invisible bonds that held me captive. Despite the vastness of the gully, I started to feel claustrophobic as the panic gripped me. My breath came in short, shallow gulps, sweat beaded on my brow and my vision started to spin. I was almost mesmerized as all of the greens and browns of the gully merged into one unidentifiable colour.

And then it was gone.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

A cop out on Bajan culture

The Barbados I grew up in and the Barbados I know now seem like two disparate entities.

Growing up in the 80s and 90s had an innocent simplicity that I haven't witnessed in far too long. I remember greeting every adult I met on the way home from school. These days I'm seeing small children as young as 9 years old brazenly cursing adults who caution them on the dangers of riding their bicycles without brakes.

It makes me remember my youth much more vividly. Older people used to tell me then that "young people these days are so different. Don't know how to make dem own kites or toys." In my youth I dismissed it as just idle rubbish; times would change. Why try to keep us trapped in the past?

As we move on from the past, I can't help but to think that too we've moved on too much and a lot of our precious culture has been eroded by pop culture. And suddenly, I'm wishing that we could go back to the way things were.

Why? Because last night it was brought to my attention that another Barbadian felt that my book was a cop out. They believed that it took such a unique cultural angle but failed to make it truly memorable.

To them I apologize. I can understand feeling such strong ownership of local culture. I actually wrote a book that revolved around it, so trust me, I know.

Maybe they're right. But I won't lie; I do have intentions on focusing more rigidly on uniquely Barbadian books. But that's not what "The Shadow Guardian" was meant to be about. "The Shadow Guardian" is a metaphor for an emotional journey I have taken. It's about love, loss and ultimately, hope. Because without hope, what do we have?

I want other young people to be able to find something that relates to them. Something fresh and dynamic that makes them feel like they can get past all of the hurdles that life throws at them.
Sometimes life feels harder than it should. There has been a recent spate of suicides here in Barbados and I feel like "The Shadow Guardian" can be a great lesson to anyone who is facing what seem like insurmountable difficulties. Maybe if we all had a way to find our inner strength and get through the tough times, we would become less indifferent and less willing to hurt each other.

Maybe then it could once again become the Barbados I yearn for. The Barbados I love always.


Callie

Monday, September 9, 2013

My first blog post

The thought of writing my first blog post is even daunting than the thought of releasing my first novel, The Shadow Guardian. 

Somehow, the idea of not hiding behind my imagination and Barbadian folklore is downright scary. 

But the thought of sharing the trials and tribulations of an aspiring Barbadian writer is even more exhilarating. That thought alone out weights everything else         

So stay tuned as I let you guys into my life. 


Love always,

Callie