Why am I such a glutton for punishment?

Every now and I again I get some bright ideas. 

There was the time when I wanted to grow my own organic vegetables. I got sunburned, created a Mecca for all kinds of veggie devouring bugs and ended up wih a grand total of 5 cherry tomatoes, half of a head of lettuce and a very sad looking carrot that only a head strong gardener could love. 

Let's not talk about the time I made my own soap from scratch. Against opposition from every one else in my life I surged ahead, confident that I could eschew conventional cleansing tools. How did it turn out? Not so good; now I buy Dove in bulk.

If you've read The Shadow Guardian, it will become pretty clear who's the inspiration for Tillie's character. 

It's not that I can't commit to anything. It's just that I have all of these grand plans that tend not to pan out sometimes. 

And it's for precisely this reason that I know that deep down that I love writing. No matter what pitfalls I've met since I started, I remain steadfast in my efforts to grow. I could get really dramatic and pledge that by the sweat of my brow that I'll become a best-selling author, but I hardly think that's my focus. 

I just want to write good books that connect with people. I just want to talk about my culture and throw in some details about my life for colour to make it exciting. 

There is something that I've learned in all of my little adventures: if it feels right then it probably is. 

The legend of the duppy

So many people have asked me about the legend of the duppy in my book that I felt I just had to do a special blog post on it. 

The legend originates in Africa and lives on in the West Indies through the descendants of the slaves who were brought here hundreds of years ago. Some of the islands have different names for duppies such as rolling calf and bubby Susan. But in pretty much all of the Caribbean islands, certain facts remain consistent. 

Duppies are believed to come about through the improper burial of bodies. Once they escape, they roam the earth for three days and can get into myriad activities including haunting one's enemies. They're rumored to live in cotton trees and to enjoy a good drink (talk about an eclectic spirit!) 

Many of you may ask "what's the difference between a duppy and a ghost?"  The main difference is that duppies are said to communicate with us while we sleep by manipulating our dreams. In Barbados when that happens, people say that they're being ridden by a duppy. When that happens, you wake up but your body gets stiff and you are rendered immobile. From there it's you against the duppy and you have to shake them off. 

But that creepy stuff isn't entirely what the book is about. In my book the duppy is actually a good guy... of sorts. 

Duppies are mythical spirits that many believe can either be good or bad. In my book, The Shadow Guardian, they represent both but with a twist. I took the idea of the duppy and fictionalized how it appeared in the book (many people were surprised by it and I won't go into that part too much here to avoid killing it for those of you who haven't read it). 

I did it that way because I was fascinated with the premise that they represent one of our souls. The legend of the duppy believes that the soul leaves a deceased person's body for a reason and I again took creative license with that aspect of the legend. Why?

Because I felt like so many of us go about our day without any real burning desire. I know for sure that at one point I did. That's what actually inspired me to write the book - living without joy and love and excitement is a horrible existence. 

So I breathed new life into the duppy by giving it a fresh purpose. The duppy was critical in the book to connect lots of themes such as hope and love. So often, we peg our dreams and ideal lifestyles on outside influences and material things. But let's be real; when you strip away all of that you come to grips with the fact that all we really need is what we can give ourselves. And once WE - not others - are happy and exude confidence and a genuine spirit, everything else falls into place. I don't advocate being selfish and forgetting other people. Far from. I'm just saying that we get what we give and if we give love and good vibes, then it comes back to us. 

I've gotten a few e-mails and messages from people telling me that The Shadow Guardian gave them what they needed to get through a difficult time. I am genuinely glad that I was able to help in my little way. We face so many challenges everyday - from work to our love lives - that it's important to be able to get past all of the bad, dig deep and find the hope that lies within all of us. 

I found mine and I hope you find your's. 

Bob Marley... and a little reflection

I came across this quote just now by Bob Marley and I think it's so poignant that I just wanted to share it with you. It's long but it's well worth the time to read it. Hopefully it gives you the chance to reflect and not squander the wonderful opportunities that true love presents us with.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” 

― Bob Marley

Rihanna?

You know how some sites ask you which stars you would cast if your book was ever made into a movie?

I always dismissed it, because let's face it: there's a reason why those books make the news. Because it's rare for any book to sell its movie rights, thus making it news worthy. 

But as I prepare to do some fresh writing on another book, I had an epiphany. I can't imagine who I'd cast as the major characters but I suddenly saw Rihanna dressed as the fortune teller and playing the role exactly the way I'd want it reenacted. 

It's weird how it happened. In my mind's eye I suddenly saw the scene where Lady Oya shoves open the door and there stood Rihanna. 

Tell me what you think. Can you picture Rihanna as the fortune teller?

The free fall.

I have a friend who skydives. It's part of his job so he doesn't do it as a hobby. As a matter of fact, it's the part of his job that he dislikes the most. 

He loathes the feeling of getting into the plane, knowing that soon he will be hurling himself from it. 

There's nothing he hates more than the wind savagely whipping at his face as he stands by the door, staring down at the earth. 

And he resents taking the final plunge, watching it all coming closer and closer at a frenetic pace. So, what does he do to counter all of this? He does what he can to negate the risks by packing his own parachute. 

But here comes the problem: he packs and re-packs and re-packs it again and again, his stomach getting more and more queasy with every round of re-packing, until he's ready to board the plane. 

Why?

Because packing a parachute properly is critical to it actually opening and performing the way it should. Heaven forbid that it doesn't open when the ripcord is pulled. Can you blame the poor fellow for driving himself insane every time he unpacks the darned thing?

What does this have to do with anything? If you think about it, parachuting is just like writing. I do what I can behind the scenes, tooling and re-tooling my work, feeding self-doubt at every turn. I second guess everything: names, places, situations. The last thing I want is to present work that feels insincere or contrived. 

So I do like Coco Chanel says and I remove one thing... and then one more thing from my book before publishing it. 

And it turns out, that one thing I've removed, is the thing that so many people tell me they wish was in the book!

Sigh. 

So, what do I do? I'll rewrite and reinsert the segment I removed and I'll learn to ignore Coco whispering in my ear. Because, going with your gut and having confidence in your work is the most amazing feeling there is. Free-falling into the world of self-publishing is liberating. It has validated me in a way I didn't know was possible. All of these emails and messages from readers admonishing me when I admit that I purposely took out some segments is so inspiring to me. 

I wake up each day with renewed purpose, knowing that I can be a good writer once I trust in myself. I can't thank each of you enough for having the guts to call me out on some of my decisions. 

So I'll take this chance to give some great advice to all of my fellow indie writers. 

“Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.” 

― Coco Chanel

Hey... Coco can't be wrong all of the time. 

The free fall

I have a friend who skydives. It's part of his job so he doesn't do it as a hobby. As a matter of fact, it's the part of his job that he dislikes the most. 

He loathes the feeling of getting into the plane, knowing that soon he will be hurling himself from it. 

There's nothing he hates more than the wind savagely whipping at his face as he stands by the door, staring down at the earth. 

And he resents taking the final plunge, watching it all coming closer and closer at a frenetic pace. So, what does he do to counter all of this? He does what he can to negate the risks by packing his own parachute. 

But here comes the problem: he packs and re-packs and re-packs it again and again, his stomach getting more and more queasy with every round of re-packing, until he's ready to board the plane. 

Why?

Because packing a parachute properly is critical to it actually opening and performing the way it should. Heaven forbid that it doesn't open when the ripcord is pulled. Can you blame the poor fellow for driving himself insane every time he unpacks the darned thing?

What does this have to do with anything? If you think about it, parachuting is just like writing. I do what I can behind the scenes, tooling and re-tooling my work, feeding self-doubt at every turn. I second guess everything: names, places, situations. The last thing I want is to present work that feels insincere or contrived. 

So I do like Coco Chanel says and I remove one thing... and then one more thing from my book before publishing it. 

And it turns out, that one thing I've removed, is the thing that so many people tell me they wish was in the book!

Sigh. 

So, what do I do? I'll rewrite and reinsert the segment I removed and I'll learn to ignore Coco whispering in my ear. Because, going with your gut and having confidence in your work is the most amazing feeling there is. Free-falling into the world of self-publishing is liberating. It has validated me in a way I didn't know was possible. All of these emails and messages from readers admonishing me when I admit that I purposely took out some segments is so inspiring to me. 

I wake up each day with renewed purpose, knowing that I can be a good writer once I trust in myself. I can't thank each of you enough for having the guts to call me out on some of my decisions. 

So I'll take this chance to give some great advice to all of my fellow indie writers. 

“Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.” 

― Coco Chanel

Hey... Coco can't be wrong all of the time. 

Inertia sets in.

Sooo. Last week I wrote my first goodreads blog. It was cool. I got a couple of likes, fans and followers. I even got it posted on Pumped Up Your Book. http://www.pumpupyourbook.com/2013/09/20/guest-blogger-callie-browning/

I was all fussy with myself. (In Barbados when we say "fussy" we mean super excited - expect to see that word a lot from me). 

And then a bell went off in my head. I thought to myself "these people are only following and liking you because they liked what you said. Do you have something else to say?"

Inertia set in. Because I didn't really expect anyone to think of my rant as follow worthy. What now, smarty pants? So I sat down and thought about today's post long and hard. Well not very long. After I finished my orange juice I started writing. 

I realized that this following and liking had occurred when I came clean and decided to just speak my truth. How does this relate to being an author?

Simple, I say. That's what we're supposed to do as authors. The parts of my book that I'm getting kudos on are the parts that I was really feeling as I wrote. Those are the parts that touch people and make them feel something vividly. 

This revelation was a huge turning point for me. Why try to be something that I'm not when what I am is so much more powerful? 

Let's face it. If you know you're not particularly adept at writing fiction but you're writing it because you think it will sell well you're doing yourself an injustice. People can read between the lines. Both literally and figuratively. 

When we are most honest with ourselves is when we shine. I suggest that each of us find what we're passionate about and really dig into it. Because that's how we will make ourselves worthy of adulation from all of the fans we'd love to have. How many times have you watched a movie and thought that it felt forced? What about the times you've seen art that just looks like a bunch of paint strokes on a canvas and scoffed in disdain? 

Don't forget that writing is just another artistic expression. Search for what you can properly express. You might be surprised to realize that what you're really good at writing is short stories or screen plays. Writers block is normal but when inertia sets in that's when you know you're fighting against the tide.